Fancy a tweetup with some b&bs?

A new booklet claims to help you stay the right side of hip. We have added some interpretations of our own?Another week, another trend. One careless move, one wrong word, one minute away from your iPad and it's social humiliation and a P45. At least that's the way life is if you're cutting-edge hip. Or a bit sad. Either way, Shine Communications - a company that according to its promotional literature wants to help its clients shine - has just produced a booklet to help you stay the right side of hip. Swarming in the Statusphere is a guide to the top 50 new trends - along with a brief explanation of what they are and why you can't do without them. Here are a few to give you a taste of the parallel universe you've managed to miss: along with a rather more off-message interpretation..B&B PeopleThey say - "A rather disparaging term for celebrities who seem happy to be famous only for their body and their boyfriend. Abbey Clancy, Jack Tweed for instance."We say - Almost anyone who has been on Saturday night TV over the past 10 years. And how come they didn't include Kate Middleton?TweetupsThey say - "Real world meetings between people who use Twitter: quintessentially, between people who 'met' using Twitter and would not have encountered each other in the real-world otherwise."We say - People with too much time on their hands who finally get to meet another meta-person, decide they don't like them and rush off home to tweet about it.MicrohoodsThey say - "Small urban areas - sometimes just a few streets leading off a specific stretch of road - with a strongly defined character that sets them apart from the neigh bourhoods around them." We say - What estate agents have been saying for years as they try to persuade you the overpriced dump they are showing you is in fact an up-and-coming middle-class enclave stuck bang in the middle of a rundown ghetto.The Buddy BonusThey say - "With corporate bonuses a highly controversial issue, peer-to-peer bonuses, for which the individual is nominated by colleagues and which recognise the importance of relationships in getting work done, are being trialled in some US offices." We say - Jobs for the boys as usual. Boss One: "I think you've done a great job this year. I reckon you should have a bonus." Boss Two: "That's odd. I think you've done a great job this year. I reckon you should have a bonus, too."InfomiasmaThey say - "The blurry, headachey feeling experienced in work meetings when it becomes clear that you have not read all the preparatory emails and attachments you were supposed to have read."We say - The blurry, headachey feeling experienced when some third- rate management guru comes up with a whole load of meaningless new ways of ruining your life.CelebrityJohn Craceguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More FeedsRush Limbaugh Michael Jordan Dr. Phil McGraw Steven Spielberg Ellen DeGeneres